Just Let Me Cry

It's painful to be reminded of how lousy my grades are, it's painful to hear the truth, it's painful to even reconcile, it's so painful I cried. I cried so much.

It's not that I don't want to try to make an effort to push my choices for university. I want to, but part of my has given up on myself, the other part has ran away and hid in a cave. My future so bleak, my footsteps so shaky, I'm scared Lord. I'm hurting, I'm broken, give me faith enough to be strong in broken areas. I need You before I fall :(

I know you care for me dear, I know it had to be you to tell me the truth despite knowing it'll be painful. I know you love me to tell me all these so that I can make wise decisions regarding my university application. But before I do the necessary, please let me cry it out. So many things I've got to let go before I can move on. My feet is heavy, I'm dragging myself. I just want to cry for now :(

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A Second Chance

For those anxious people out there who are dying to find out my results, well I didn't do well.

I've been trying to run away from people, afraid they might ask. After all, I'm still trying to face the harsh fact of my results.

I admit that I'm lost, very afraid of the uncertainties of my future, and praying for a miracle. Trying very hard to find my solace, to reflect on my options left, and basically bury my head in the ground to hide my shame and disgrace.

Wallowing in negativity and inferiority, I find it so difficult to face people. In fact many times I'm caught in embarrassment trying to find an answer for those who ask "How are your results?!"

Well I did pass all my subjects, but the courses open for me are what they call the 'dumping ground' in NTU and NUS which unfortunately, are left for people like me who fight their asses just to get a place in university and take subjects which have no future prospects as deemed by society.

I'm pathetic, I'm broken. Not going to cry over spilled milk though I know I did my best.

Just going to drown myself in my pool of tears.

But at this point of time, I would like to give special thanks and hugs to you dear. You've been very VERY supportive and comforting, very sensitive and sweet. Thank you for being there for me, for showing how much you care and love me despite me being such a disappointment. I love you so much darling *sobs.

Sorry for being such a disappointment guys. All I want is a second chance to make it up to myself.

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