Things I Do With My Dog

I don't like rainy days.

They make me feel - lethargic, bored, sleepy and lazy.

Well today, was a day of rest. I did things I enjoyed:

1. I took photos with dexter

2. I took photos of dexter

3. I cooked dinner (for myself of course)

4. I made a present

5. I watched Oprah Winsfrey show in the morning and at night

6. I made toast

7. I BATHED DEXTER!

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Exercise Regime

I need to exercise, not because I am growing fat. On the contrary, I am getting thinner as a result from stress. Stilll, I miss those days where I feel the vigor and the energy through my bones. I want to feel fit, strong, and abled again!

What I am now is just like a lifeless dummy with bloodshot eyes staring into books and notes, trying to drill it into my head. HA sounds scary but whoa.. that is mugging. Welcome to the world of an A level student. Sigh

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Sisterhood

Sisterhood is the most beautiful thing that God created between two girls who are more than just best friends. It is a fellowship, a committment, a bond, a decision between two girls to stay to each other through thick or thin, no matter what happens, they are always there for each other. They speak words of truth with love, they rebuke each other gently, they edify and built each other up, they give more than they can receive for the best out of the other party, they pray for one another, they cry together, they laugh together, they give hugs like they are free, they know each other even when they are not speaking, they cannot contain themselves among each other, they talk like there is no tomorrow.

And I thank God that I have one sister - esther.

Hey girl, thank You for your reply.. So true, If it is God's plan that He put us through this, He will bring us through this. Just like what samuel in the bible did, he encouraged himself to the Lord, and indeed I shall. Lord sorry for being so negative the past few days, I submit my fears into Your hands, I submit my plans and my everything, every part of me, eveything I desire to Your hands, because I am Yours. Let Your will be done Lord, let Your will be done.

"I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" Jer 32:27


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Mixed Tears

No words could describe how I felt today - that feeling of being left out of something BIG, something that I thought or expected to be a part of. Pride? I struggled to even answer that word. But I know that I took for granted that every year I would be in the band; doing my thing, helping out, being part of something, getting myself busy. This time round, no.. nothing, and I'll just be another head in the audience, sitting back and supposedly enjoying. That was why I couldn't take it, I cried my heart out.. my tears of disappointment and unjustification. I just couldn't understand why, I couldn't accept any answers that were even out of good intentions. All I wanted to do was to dig a hole and bury myself and lay in the earth till everything was over. Not that I like to run away from problems, but this is my way of reacting towards it at least.. I like to pull myself out and be alone. Back to that question.. pride? Yes I do.. who doesn't?

I started to reflect, to think about my course of thinking and reaction towards that decision made. All I can say is that I have to submit and obey. I know that God is dealing with me through this - But God, this really hurts. Right now, everything under my feet seems to be shaking, I feel like I am about to fall. Hold me tight Lord, I don't want to fall, I don't want to lost my foothold. I am afraid. Sighh, what dear said was right. Every year that will be a light moment, but I only have A levels once in my lifetime. Words of truth, yet the truth hurts. God, work in me Your plan, work in me Your song, work in me Your victory, work in me your glory. Its me and you now, bring me into Your rest. Let me be still before You. Don't pass me by..

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Drained

I teared today, yes me and my stressed up mind. Tears of worries, anxieties, fatigue, paranoia, fear. Fear of my prelims, and the much dreaded A levels. Yet I want the A levels to come now, in fact tomorrow would be good, because I don't want to care anymore. I just want to get it over and done with and not care what my results would be. Yes I am indeed tired, i cannot find strength to carry on. Lord, pls drag me somehow. I cannot do this anymore, I cannot fight this fight. I lack faith, I lack strength, and what overwhelms my heart now is FEAR.

He said "Come unto me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest.."


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Dexter

I love DEXTER - my dog. Sighh but sometimes my heart goes out to him who is always left alone at home, lazing on his cushion, walking around the kitchen, waiting for someone to come home.

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My Security

All seemed to turn out well when I met up with you today. The usual, you made me laugh, you did the thing you always do -- your MOJO! I am glad that I could laugh and be myself today, and not entertain silly, negative, unrealistic thoughts in which I call lies of the devil.

Father, in this period of time, I really wish You can be more tangible in my life. You created my hands for a reason, not only to play the piano, but take my hands and DRAG me along. I am weary, sick and tired of studying, I need Your rest. What makes things worse is that my mind runs wild with thoughts that I know are not true, thoughts that tempt me to be bitter and angry and paranoid. I know I should not entertain such thoughts but I struggle because I lack the strength to shake those thoughts off my head. Help me Lord to live my life and to live for You. Give me strength to carry the cross and glorify Your name in all that I do. When I look at myself, I see the weaknesses and brokeness in me. Then I look to You, because that is when I know I need You more. I must decrease and You must increase

Thank You Lord for creating me as who I am, moulding me through Your Refiner's fire to be more like You. My name is Grace - Your unmerited on my life, a favour I do not deserve. Thank You Jesus for preserving me thus far. You never gave me up, You never let me go.

Men have failed me, disappointed me, hurt me. But I know You won't and never will. That is why I place my securities in You Lord

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Saying I Love You

If you ever see this, I just want to say..

Thank you dear, for being there for me today. Your simple gestures and presence lifted me up and blessed my heart. I love you.

Thank You Jesus for answering prayers.

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Be Still

Let me find that comfortable spot on your shoulder and lie forever.

I don't think its PMS. Either way, i just feel like sleeping under my cosy blanket, with cold aircon, waking up when the sunlight pierces through my curtains, eating a some chocolate frosted donuts with rainbow rice sprinkles and my nescafe rich coffee..


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Choices Film Show

I am excited that Yuzheng and Jairus are coming later for the film show - Choices. I have taken the first step in asking Lord, now let Your spirit work in them. I really hope that Yuzheng will get saved, he is at that line before God, all he needs to do is just to reach out. And to all those out there who are still procrsstinating, there is NO time left. He is coming back, and it is going to be realit is going to be SOON. Sigh, the truth is so simple, but since long ago even when Jesus came to earth, people have rejected the truth, they have rejected him. Their stubborn nature? Disbelief? Pride? Procrastination? I don't bother to know what excuses they have to reject the truth, but I know that despite that.. Jesus loves them, as much as He loves me. Thank you Jesus.

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Intervention

Dear Lord, help him. He seems to be going throught something. I don't know, I wish I could help, I wish I could be the one there. Help him, be with him now. It hurts my heart to think about it or even say this prayer, my heart aches to even wonder what he might be going through. Though I know I can't be of much help, but I know You can Lord. Amen


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The Potter and Clay

Today I went for prayer meeting not expecting much, but rather to rest in Him and draw strength from Him. It is indeed how amazing how the spirit moves and impress onto our hearts things of the Lord that encourgages our soul. Well I was just meditating in prayer, singing, worshipping in my own special way, telling God that I am weak and broken, I am hard pressed by the failures in my life, haunted by my own inferiour complex, yet thanking God for bringing me thus far, using me despite falling short of His glory, using me in my youth, using me for whatever I have that He his given.. basically I was just talking to Him.

Then suddenly He flashed this picture of a pottery that had cracks on it, kinda shattered and brittle. Then I saw the pottery going through the fire, becoming soft, and a pair of HANDS moulding the pottery, fine tuning it, making it better. It was at this point where God impressed upon my heart that I was that pottery. Broken, brittle, fragile, vulnerable

And as I go through His refiner's fire to mould me, I felt pain - as if I could really feel the intense heat burning my skin, into my bones. And my heart wrenched because I somehow felt that pain in my heart when I saw in the broken, brittle, ugly pottery burn in the fire. I am that pottery, broken but going through the process of moulding and refining by my potter. The cracks in me represents the brokeness in my life, in my failures, in my weakness. But the potter never gives up His clay, He moulds it, putting it through His refiner's fire. The process of moulding is painful - the things in our life that fails us, our trials and tribulations, our hurts, difficulties, problems. These are the things that God uses in our life to mould us.

Though painful, I see that ugly and worthless clay become a beautiful pottery whom the potter would smile at.


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Introduction

Hello! My name is Grace! Let me introduce myself:

I am me! Being crazy, corny, zany, loony and totally unpredictable or random are common character traits that I display. I laugh when I am happy and cry when I'm sad, simple as that! My feelings are mirrored on my face and there is not a thing to control them - not even my puny brain. Like most females, my hormones rage randomly (other than once a month) and hence the emotional uproars. That happens rarely, or suddenly but other than that, you would expect Miss Sunshine.

I am blissful! Currently am happily attached to my boyfriend since 2003 and we've been together for quite a while (do the math!) We do all sorts of things together, in which I will spare the details - but! Most importantly, we have been serving together in the worship team in our local church and that is all that matters because we believe that God is the one who holds us together. By God's grace, we have gone through thick and thin together and we are looking forward to a common goal in the future. Nevertheless, I thank God for a wonderful partner! Here's why I love him..

I love life! Taking time to stop and smell the roses is one of the ways I reflect and appreciate life in its fullness and beauty. Occasionally I build castles in the air, hoping and wishing I can be in a place where the sun always shines, birds always sing, and flowers don't wither and die. I often dream to be an explorer, to travel the world and explore the different countries and places. Until I inherit a fortune, that dream is still out of reach ha! Honestly speaking, the current enjoyment I find in life is sipping my favourite cup of coffee at home, snugging under the warm blanket, staring out the window, reading a book, and probably with dear falling asleep on my lap.

I am myopic, metaphorically speaking. I focus on details and fail to see the big picture at times. So sometimes you have got to give me a tight slap across the cheek to wake me up from focusing at the minor instead of understanding the major.

I'm the ultimate fussypot! Ok this might sound crazy but I don't eat food that appear to be dark looking, I am lactose intolerant, allergic to seafood, and my stomach seems to lack the ability to digest spicy food. So any of the above which result in an immediate effect to the toilet! What do I eat then? Eggs, vegetables, soup, fish, chicken, tomatoes, parsley and anything that looks green and healthy. As I've said, I don't like eating anything that appears dark so stews and beef and whatever that looks like it is a big no no. Oh! Did I mention that I don't drink anything that appears white too? Ya, I'm a fussypot.

I am an adrenaline junkie. Tell me who can resist a sugar glazed donut or sweet ice-cold honey green bubble tea? Salty, Bitter, Sour especially, out of the way!

I am a long-time coffee addict. Many have tried making me quit this addiction but hey! Coffee is good, especially when you are anemic. I have to drink my cuppa coffee before I start my day, in which any attempt to not stick by this daily routine would cause major hormonal uproars. Just kidding!

I love art! Not painting but rather, the diverse range of human activities, creations, and expressions that are appealing and attractive to the senses or have some significance to the mind of an individual. Things like, simple doodling, arty-farty fonts, appreciating a slow dance etc .. are all welcomed by me! Well, I constantly think out of the box so that explains I guess!

I love music! Learning piano from the age of 3 onwards have made my fingers in sync with the piano or keyboard the moment I lay my hands on it. Like normal beginners, I started off with Classical Music; ultimately boring but mom had to force me to practice each day. Thank goodness mom made me take up piano, and more importantly, thank God for the gifts and talents that God has given me in this area. Other than small performances I had when I was young, I have also been a wedding pianist, as well as playing for events such as the Poly Day of Prayer 2008. I certainly hope that God can use me more for His glory!

I love my family! Born in a typical asian family, I was brought up by the rod. Since young I was given curfews and boundaries. In my teenage years, I've grown to be rebellious against these restrictions and perspectives of love began to cloud my mind with the thought that my family could well be dysfunctional. But, it was just me who didn't understand. Ha as I've said, I was and still am myopic! Thank God through prayers, though dear, I start to realise that love is displayed in many forms of actions, though some I might not agree. Nonetheless, I acknowledge the fact that my family will always be there for me, and they love me more than I probably know.

I love God! What to say? He is my rock, my refuge, my best friend, my saviour, my king, my all in all. Without Him, I am nothing.

I love Spongebob, and that has nothing to do with my personality :)

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