I'm sorry I had to be amongst those whom you were disappointed with. I can only say sorry in solemn repetition. I seriously don't know how to be apologetic and resolved things, to reconcile, to mend, to find just the right words to say. Most of the time, I stumble at my own procrastination before even uttering the word "sorry".
Yea, sorry seems to be the hardest word.
I take things too personally, too emotionally, too sentimentally. For that, I cry at the faintest blow. Not to say that I'm a cry baby cos over the years my heart has been numbed to certain kind of thoughts and feelings. But as what you've said, I'm just like a broken glass. Broken, vulnerable, cutting myself and hurting you in the midst of it. That's why I drown under such strong surges of emotion when a word is said or a gesture is made.
Yea I'm fragile, handle with care.
However I do understand your disappointments with everyone. The same questions run through my mind too. You were alone in all this, you were a one-man show, and I had to 'add fuel to the fire'
I'm struggling now to rethink all the negative thoughts that are planted by the devil. I'm not emotional now, just thinking alot. And I can't help it. I know if I continue feeding all these thoughts, I could make decisions that would result in dire consequences.
I need to think through this.
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