Insecurites

God, my hope is slipping away, my faith is shaking. I know in my head the promises You've made, but I want to claim on these promises with the bottom of my heart. Even that seems so difficult now. As fear is creeping in, crippling my heart, slowly paralyzing it, I can't seem to be set free from worries and more worries.

Lord I am so insecure about everything, especially my future. I want to rest my hope in You, I want to believe that You are my Jehovah Jireh, that You will make a way for me to go to university. But the reality and fear of rejection is just so overwhelming now. And who do I consult, who would really understand, who would empathize and walk through this phase of life? None but You Lord. None but You.

Lord I really need a hug from You as well. Work has gotten me thinking about the priorities of life. I always thought that the job that offers the highest salary would be the best but I'm not happy with my current job. The need to constantly self motivate is wearing out. I thought that the current situation is just temporal, and I was really wishing that things would be smooth. But no Lord, obstacles after obstacles and I seem to be lost in this rat race of routine and expectations. God help me. I really need a clear sign and direction about my life. Temptations of quitting is taunting me, oh Lord what should I do?

I really need a hug from You Lord.

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