It felt good actually, to be able to regurgitate somewhat 98% of what I have memorized from the textbook. But boy, it was mentally exhausting, as if someone's hands were squeezing the crevices of my soft pink brain for for all the information that I have studied so far. My efforts paid off, and I do hope the results show.
Still, thank God for making me recall stuff that I forgot.
But that's just a synopsis of a little part of my mixed up day. What really hit me hard was the what I thought was the longest, loneliest walk I had.
I could have taken the shorter route, but instead, I walked the longer way toward Commonwealth Mrt Station. Whilst walking, this sudden wave of loneliness hit me hard and almost, for a brief moment, made me cry. You see, I have no qualms about being alone, in fact though I might portray a cheerful outgoing personality to most, I do enjoy my space - which includes shopping alone, walking home alone and thinking about stuff. So yes, I do like being in solitude.. sometimes.
As I walked, I was thinking, reflecting, trying to not let the sense of loneliness get into me. Then suddenly, it occurred to me this very blatant realization that made me want to get all emotional and cry. Of course I didn't, but it was those rare heart-wrenching moments where I get to know myself further.
That very blatant realization - in every decision you make, sacrifices must be made.
With that, I was just thinking of how hard it is to do the right thing, stick to it through the end, and suffer the 'consequences' of your decision. It is a painful struggle, to do the right thing and not compromise just because of peer pressure. Somehow today, these feelings suddenly overflowed from just a simple thought.
Then I questioned myself, "Grace, are you really doing the right thing?"
.. Flashes of me looking for a job and working after school made me think, if I didn't work, probably I would have spent more time with my friends? Questions I ask myself as such, just made me think of what truly, is.. RIGHT.
I walked and walked, till I reached the bus stop, which was located right beneath the MRT Station. I could have taken the MRT, but I decided to try the bus. So as I was waiting and waiting till what seems like eternity, I got fed up and told God, "if the next bus isn't 105, I am taking the train." Such a simple statement, yet before I could wait I stood up in attempt to walk to the MRT station.
Then at the corner of my eye, Bus 105 came and I chuckled to myself saying "Ha ha God, you sure are funny."
God is real. In that simple bus waiting encounter, He reminded me of how real He is despite my situation and circumstance.
Well, there was a twist toward the end of the day when I received a letter from Ministry of Health in congratulating my turning of 21 soon and 'educating' me about Organ Donation. Since I had to make a choice to either donate my organs after death or objecting to Organ Donation, I chose the former.
... And I was happy that I did something right. Who knows, my organs might serve useful to others in need. Well, maybe not my nose. (Inside joke for those who have prod and poked it)
Oh! And I told dear about my decision and he went, "Donate to meeee"
I asked why he needed so many organs and he replied, "It'll be fun to have 3 kidneys"
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